Attracting the Right Kind of People: I’ve always been the type of person that gives the other person the benefit of doubt. If they make a mistake, be kind and tolerant. After all, who doesn’t make mistakes? We are all human, and we learn and grow from our mistakes. But generally people apologize and genuinely try to improve whatever they have done wrong.
But perhaps you may have a person that seems to not only make mistakes, but somehow they manage to hurt and blame you in the process. And maybe it doesn’t seem accidental. Sometimes they may even tell you, “It’s your fault that I did ____ to you.” That’s when you know you’ve hit the jackpot of toxicity in a person. Unfortunately, this kind of hurtful person can affect you in multiple ways: emotionally, spiritually, financially and even professionally. Many feelings come with this kind of experience, one of pain. You may even feel a little bit dumb or foolish for falling for their rather lame apology and excuses.
It takes time to process the hurtful actions and come to terms with it. As you move forward and progress through life, the hurt will subside, but the lesson will stay. Like the old saying, “Live and Learn”, you will realize that every moment in life is precious. Don’t continue to feed into a negative situation. Sometimes we may be “stuck” with a negative person that literally sucks the life right out of our minds and bodies. Some refer to these types as emotional vampires. The relationship continues because we feel sorry for them or don’t want to be mean by discontinuing a friendship or relationship. And we constantly make excuses that someday they will see the light and change their ways. Sadly, they may not only be friends, but they can be people that you work with, significant others, and the worst situation is to deal with family members that are toxic.
If you are taking notice of this in your life…congratulations to you. You have actually taken the first step without even realizing it. The very first step is noticing that this person may not be the friend, boyfriend/girlfriend/partner, husband/wife/parent or co-worker that you thought they were. They really don’t have your best interest at heart. Pay attention to what your heart is saying to you about this person. Many times people will have a feeling inside that this person doesn’t “feel right”, but then the mind tells them that they should ignore their feelings because they are wrong. Always go with your gut instinct on this one. If you feel like something is off about a person, it probably is, and you should stay clear of this person. And if you can’t stay clear, keep communication time with them short and to the point.
Are They Wearing a “Mask”?
Over the past year we all have been exposed to people wearing masks. It’s hard to tell if they are happy, sad, mad or any emotion because you can’t really see the expressions on their faces. Toxic people are much like that. They wear a mask every day and are a master of disguise. They wear their mask and pretend to be something they are not and play roles to fit the occasion. Many will adapt to different attitudes based on who they are communicating with. One moment they are kind and considerate and the next moment they are manipulative and condescending. They can be very charming, adaptable and persuasive. This is where you will need to observe and pay attention to the way this person interacts with you and with others. Are they consistent? Are their actions and words going together? If not, don’t dedicate too much time believing their act.
Making New Friends…Take Your Time
When you meet a potential “new” friend, it’s exciting to jump in and get to know them by spending lots of time with them. But take your time and get to know people more gradually. Anyone that wants to be your new BFF instantly may be a red flag in itself. Sure, you want to get to know new friends, but take it easy and enjoy the process of learning about them and their personality and true self.
Don’t fall into a trap of retaliation. If you respond with anger and resentment it will only start a negative cascade that will spiral into hate, resentment and stress – for you. When the negative person that you are dealing with argues with you they are projecting their shortcomings of pain and hurt that they have personally experienced on to you. Don’t accept their negative space or their manipulation. Many times it’s better to not discuss your feelings and work it out with these types of personalities.
What You Can Do
I love the saying “Attract your tribe with your vibe”. First and foremost, focus your thoughts on love for yourself. If you don’t love yourself, you are not going to attract people that love you. Learn to nurture the kindness, understanding and sweetness inside you. If you still find yourself attracting negative people into your life, analyze your vibe. What are you projecting into the universe? Why are you projecting this energy? The old adage – you love yourself you will attract more loving people into your life is true.
Attracting the Right Kind of People – It’s All About Love
Picture this…Love as a very powerful magnet that draws more of the same into your life. Evaluate the people that are truly supportive, loving and caring in your life. Then comes the process of editing out people that are negative in your life. There is no need to be hurtful or have a confrontation. Just gradually see and talk to them less and less. Know that negative people have their own lessons in life, you don’t have to make them YOUR lesson. And you certainly are not responsible for their happiness.
Don’t feel that you are weak or wear your heart on your sleeve because you naively trusted them. You have the most powerful manifesting tool in the universe – Love. The power of love makes you a superhero that dims any unkind, toxic energy. The more you concentrate and try to include love in your life, the more abundance of love and kindness will materialize. As you focus on the love in your life, your ability to edit out negativity and negative people will become second nature. And pretty soon you will be much happier and more comfortable with yourself and your life.